The Easy Button of Doom

Have you ever just wanted to reach a goal so badly that it knawed at your insides constantly?

I've only been fencing epee for a year (although I fenced saber for 5 before that), but I kept choking when it really mattered. I would fence well, and get to the point of earning my E or my D, and lose by 2 points. I was starting to feel like I was stalling in my progress like I did in saber. Unfortunately, from experience, I knew what was going to follow. I would get that "stalling" feeling, and then.......frustration! Once frustration sets in pretty well, I'm done. There is no more progress to be made.

So, this is how my weekend went: I was a little stressed out on Saturday morning, since we had a massive tournament, and our team manager (who we basically can't live without) is very sick, and unable to help run the darn thing. So, I get up early and check people in for foil. Things are going fine. Unfortunately for me, they didn't stay fine for too long. Before long, I was attempting to ref foil, check people in for epee, greet out of town guests, and warm myself up for epee all at the same time. I'm a mom. I can multi-task, right?

So, I manage to get everyone checked in, and hand the foil DE's off to someone else, get dressed and stretched, and stuff some food in my face. I go to my open epee pool. I'm not fencing terribly well, but I'm not at my worst either. I pretty much get my butt kicked, and go 3 and 4 in my pool. So as soon as I get done with that, people are rushing me off to go fence the women's epee event. I'm a little flustered, but fence my first 2 bouts in a row (to play catch up a bit since they had started while I was still in my open pool), and manage to pull off 2 victories. Yay!. Good start. I proceed to fence like a woman possessed, and go 7-0 in the pool. I get the #1 seed, and come out of it with a bye into the 8. I have to fence a teammate to get into the 4, but manage to beat her 13-7 with time running out.

At that point, I collapsed upon the floor and cried.I didn't know what else to do. Being that the women's portion of the tournament was D rated, making it into the top 4 guaranteed me my E rating. I just yelled "Finally! Finally, I didn't choke when it mattered!" I think everyone thought I was a complete freak, but oh well.

What's the secret weapon? The Staples Easy Button. If you've ever seen the Staples commercials, you know what I'm talking about. I bought one. It talks. I go through my little ritual with it before every bout, and in some strange rift of the universe, it gives me some amazing mojo. Wow. Whodathunkit?