Ego

I am a champion. I have mastered my own obsession with competition. I have come to an undertanding with my own brain that this whole fencing thing is fun first, and glory second.

Let me back up and explain for those of you who are lost. I am a highly competitive person. I have always been that way. I've always spent more time worrying about what I've accomplished and who I impressed, than enjoying what I was doing for recreation in the first place. This all started long before fencing. When I was in middle school, I became a musician. I was fairly successful at it, until college, when I realized that was majoring in something that was much more fun as a hobby than a career. I had forgotten why I liked to study music in the first place.

Fast forward to fencing. For the first year or so, I ate, slept, breathed fencing. I practiced so much that I got burnt out. Fast. When I got pregnant, it gave me a perfect excuse to take some time off without the risk of dissappointing myself or anyone else for that matter. Unfortunately, when I came back to fencing, it was with a vengeance. I suddenly had something to prove to everyone. I could come back and be good after the baby. Unfortunately, most of the parents out there know that having a child is a lot more complicated than 9 months and some labor. So, I put far too much pressure on myself and became depressed, dissappointed, and even angry at my lack of results.

Now, having gotten everyone up to speed, let's talk about my weekend. I went to the epee tournament in Atlanta. I had a fantastic time. I got my @ss kicked thouroughly, but I had a fantastic time. I met some new people and saw some old friends. Got to cheer one of my teammates unexpectedly into the finals.

But to the point......It always surprises me how many people I meet in fencing who have egos the size of Hurricane Katrina. But the thing that surprises me more is that the people who have the consistant results to justify a massive ego, are the people who are friendly, humble, and helpful to everyone around them.....even people with as little success as me. It always seems to be the people who maybe have a few good results, or none at all, who think that their sh!t doesn't stink. These are the people who brag about small victories over a little girl who started 2 months ago, or try to impress everyone with their speed and agility against a 9 year old. The people who's egos and arrogance are bigger than their trophy cabinets will ever be. The people who've forgotten why they started fencing in the first place.

So, I am a champion. I've learned to stop concentrating on the big picture and look at the little victories. For instance, I got three points on a B-rated girl in my pool. My teammate who made the finals told me how much my observations and adviced helped him. In my DE, I was losing 14-2, and between touches I said, "I've got you right where I want you now", to my opponent, and everyone couldn't help but laugh with me. It's about the pretty touches I do make sometimes, and the great people I meet at tournaments, and the memories we make when we travel in big groups. (I'm sure JJ and Fruity Phillip would agree ;))

I love fencing. No stupid, arrogant, egomaniacs will ever ruin that for me. The fact is, when I'm in my 40's and still competing in veteran events, win or lose, those same stupid, arrogant, egomaniacs will have burnt out and quit long ago. I'll be the first one in line, waving goodbye.

Long and winding weekend...

Wow.....I feel like this weekend was really long. On one hand, that's great, but on the other...not.

Friday was pretty uneventful. I just spent the evening with my child, watching TV and hanging out. Saturday, we did our normal grocery shopping and such. We did some serious cleaning of the house too. I met L and T for dinner at Moe's ("Welcome to Moe's!!!!!!"), and then we went bowling. L is a bowling hustler, and always tried to say things like, "I didn't mean to get 5 strikes in a row! I just threw the ball down there!" Yeah, right! She hustles us at miniature golf too, so I'm honestly not really surprised that she does the same thing with bowling. Luck my @ss.....

Anyway, after that, we went and had yummy coffee and talked for a few hours before Karen got tired and had to go home. Sunday, the hubby and child and I accomplished a boatload of errands, and then came home for "Operation: Reclaim the yard from the Weeds." That went pretty well, although it was friggin' hot! I was already a little bit sore from bowling, but this morning I could barely get out of bed from the soreness of the yard work! I have weeds from hell! But, things are starting to look much better in the yard, so hopefully, it will stay under control for the fall and winter before we have to start over again next spring. I think they should make self-maintaining yards. That way, they would mow themselves, weed themselves, plant themselves, blah, blah, blah.....

This weekend is T's birthday, and L and I have surprises planned for him. It's going to be tons of fun! Hee hee hee

Anyway, hope everyone is have a good week.

-K

Big Ol' Tournament Review

Man am I tired!!!! That was a really long 2 days. Anyway, the tournament really turned out well, with a great turnout for the first time out and a few surprise guests. The recap:

I loathe foil (no offense anyone) so I skipped the whole event, but it ran well and had a decent turn out. I got my butt absolutely kicked in the women's epee, but the competition was really strong and all the girls were super sweet and a lot of fun to fence. I did fair to mediocre in the open, an ended up having to fence my first DE against one of my teammates. He eventually finished 2nd in the tournament, so I didn't feel to badly, and I got some beautiful points on him. I also took him to the time limit (and I was the only person to do so all day.) He's a ton of fun to fence, so I wasn't dissappointed in the least.

Saber: I had a pretty good day at the start. I ended up winning the women's tournament, beating out Zoe the battleaxe by just a bit. All of my opponents were wonderful and each of them very difficult in their own way. In the open, I went 3-3 in my pool, and lost my 2nd DE to another teammate. Again, I got some beautiful points and had a great time. The tourney was well run with no huge delays, and we must have talked to a million people in the mall about fencing! Great experience overall.

Other than being very tired and sore, I think I'm allergic to the neoprene in my knee brace. NOT a good thing. I am currently red, bumpy, itching, and oozing all over my body, (Which is definitely not fun.) Doctor isn't really sure what it is or how to fix it, but I get to be on really fun steroids for a week. Maybe I'll get all big and muscley.....

Special thanks to my friends Lisa and Tom for being my own personal cheering section this weekend. You guys are the best!

I got better....

So the kidney things still doesn't feel fantastic, but I'm feeling much better than I have all week, which is definitely a good thing. I have a massive fencing tournament this weekend at the mall in Gastonia, and if I don't feel any better than I do right now, it's likely to be a pretty pitiful weekend.

I'm supposed to fence 4 events in 2 days, so if that weren't tiring enough, I have to feel semi crappy on top of it all. .....and then there's good ol' Aunt Flow. Ugh!

Anyway, whether or not I do well in the tournament means nothing as compared to the fact that we have so many friggin' people registered to compete! I can't believe we have 9 for women's epee! Yay! We have about 45 for open saber, so there should be a whole boatload of people getting ratings. I just hope some people bring machines and reels, because if they don't, it's gonna take a while! I have to juggle the whole thing with my mom and dad coming into town on their way back from Canada. (Don't ask. It was this year's crazy summer retirement excursion.)

Anyway, it looks to be an exciting and very busy weekend.......if only I can make it through Friday!

Kidney hell...

So I spent most of the evening yesterday at the local Urgent Care Center with a hell of a kidney infection. Ouch. It hurts. They put me on some super anti-biotics, so hopefully I'll be alright to fence next weekend. (Big tournament!) The doctor said that it was a good thing I didn't wait until today to go in, because she figured I probably wouldn't have made it out of the bed. Ouch. Right now, I'm starting to feel much better, but it still kinda feels like someone kicked me in the back.

Anyway, we have a massive tournament in the mall in Gastonia next weekend, so it's gonna be awesome!!!! Yay!

Asheville...

What a wonderful weekend!!!!! I went on my yearly excursion with the best friends a girl could ever have (Lisa and Tom) to Asheville, NC. We had a cabin in the middle of nowhere on a mountainside, and spent quite a bit of our time soaking in the hot tub and drinking heavily. It was so nice to just relax. There was no phone, no TV, no computer.....Just the three of us, great food, alcohol, music, and nature. You just can't get any better than that.

We drove up Friday night, and spent the evening drinking in the cabin. Saturday, we went into town to go to the Bele Chere festival, which was just as awesome as usual. Great food, great art, and great people. It's always just a wonderful atmosphere. Saturday night, we grilled out for dinner, which was fantastic, and had chocolate fondue for dessert. I love it! Sunday, we cleaned up the cabin, had some fantastic breakfast, and then it was one more soak in that hot tub before we were off to take some pictures of the mountains. After that, lunch at the Asheville Pizza Company (a tradition), and a quick trip to the Farmer's market for the best breads and produce around. MMMMMMM! We really didn't want to come back. :(

Anyway, I feel relaxed and refreshed from my awesome weekend. I got some fantastic news when I got back.....I managed to win the NC point standings for women's saber!!!!! Yay! Sure, it doesn't really mean anything, but it's a personal victory for me. :)